The Torture Chamber

Here I am again.
Sitting on the edge.
Rocking back and forth.
Wanting to break free.
And yet wanting it to trap me.
Drown me.
Kill me.
Do I?
Or is just easier to accept
The smoke and mirrors
I've erected
From the dozens of poisons
I've selected
Slow torture
False ecstasy
Numbed-out orgasms
Who was she?
I don't know,
Just another notch on the pole
Another tarnished trophy
Making me feel anything but whole
I can no longer maintain the status quo
That this society expects me to hold
So I fall into the rabbit hole
Alice's Wasteland
No place for the innocent
But a haven for the damned
Still, as I inhale another white trail
Preparing for another drag-me-down high
A small part of me can't help but wonder
Will I realize it if I die?

Is It Wrong?

Is It wrong?
For me to be drawn to you so strongly
Like a moth to a flame
Mesmerized by the warmth of your mind
The scent of your skin
The sound of your name

Is it wrong?
For me to fantasize
About the space between your thighs
To wonder what it'd be like to hide inside
And have you lying beside
Me?

Is it wrong?
To hope for the impossible
For you live so far away
Yet knowing in my heart
Our time will come
And that everything will be okay?

Is it wrong?

The Resolution

This year....FUCK LOVE!

Two's a crowd
Got enough noise in my head
As of right now
I don't need you in my life
To add to the height of my
Daily stress
So don't step to me saying
I'm just all about sex
Cause no shit!
Commitment
Isn't the name of this game
See
I'm currently too selfish
To be anything but free
Not to say I won't please you
If you're down to please me
But my heart is locked up
And you ain't getting the key
Freeze!
That doesn't mean to say
We can't be best friends w/ benefits
All the way
We can laugh, we can chill
When we aren't in the sack
But that's the extent of our future
It's not much deeper than that
This year I gotta focus on
Success and Self-esteem
The only thing I want you to lift up
Is what's sitting in my jeans
Too blunt for you?
Too bad cause from here on out
Raw and reckless are what I'm about
This is the resolution
And I know it may seem strange
But like Snake and Jackal said
2010's the year of change

Blunt Force, Mama

I just wanna....
Crash into you.
Full rush tackle
Chaotic tumble rumble
Messy confusion
Of hands and feet
And limbs
As I excavate
The secrets of your desires
Testing different approaches
To unlock you
And ignite your fire
Then in spent exhaustion
Collapse with you by my side....

So what do you say?

Human.

I am human.
I love.
I think.
I fear.
I fight.
I laugh.
I cry.
I lust.
I scream.
I hurt.
I fall.
I stand.
I learn.
I remember.
I forget.
Sometimes I am human.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Honest Words

What if we are born onto this earth
As fractured souls
In order to search for the components
That would make us whole?
Perhaps we are not meant to
Judge ourselves and each other
By the things we exclude
And do not do
But by what we embrace
And choose to include.
Do we each not deserve the chance
To live, to love, to desire
For with all our hearts
The keys that will unlock the hiding place
Of our missing parts
What if the greatest gift our creator gave us
Was imperfection?
The ability to pick and choose who we are
How we think
What we feel
Why do we choose instead to pick away
At cryptic messages and hypotheticals
For a truth that we can call our faith?
We all take sides saying everyone else is wrong
But they too are singing the same song
When all our lives give in to the light
Tell me, which ones will be right?

Writer's Resolve

I cannot say for certain
That I will be a success
I do not know if my decision
Really is the best
I'm not quite sure my talent
Will take me where I want to go
Especially when I'm told it isn't enough
It's all about who you know
Sometimes I feel like I'm on a fool's errand
Choosing to waste my time away
At times I feel I'm just being stubborn
Rebelling against the shit they all say
There are days when my self-esteem
Has the consistency of glass
And though it's partly because I fear the future
I'm also haunted by my past

But then I tell myself to stop.

My greatest talent is my insight
Into what most choose not to see
To shackled minds and doubt-ridden souls
I alone have the key
I can ignite a powderkeg of emotion
With my subtly biting words
And I will continue to create new works
Until my voice is felt and heard
But even then I will only improve
And only when I breathe my last breath
Will I, Jali, the writer
Give in to a quiet death
But I promise you, what I leave behind
Will continue to blaze a trail
That will scream it isn't wrong to be different
And that it isn't a crime to fail